


I know that I could've tried harder

by Themoonstolemytea



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: But the birds are his friends, Damn, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, M/M, Matt Fraction's Hawkeye, Sam Wilson Can Talk to Birds, Steve Rogers is the dad of the team, aka Clint, alright, being gays, being guys, god bless, he wants the best for his friends, he’s the peace keeper, sad boy barton, some unresolved tension, the author is ok with how this is going, the boys, the boys being guys being gays, this author is unsure of whats gonna happen but lets roll with it yeah?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-04-12 09:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19129558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themoonstolemytea/pseuds/Themoonstolemytea
Summary: “You want me stay away from you? File a restraining order. I deserve to be here just as much as you.”“I’m not saying you don’t. I just-”“You ‘just’ what, Clint?"Title from The Walters' "What's Left"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there folks! 
> 
> So this has taken a little bit to get started and I'm excited to see where it goes!  
> I am not ready for this wild adventure that the boys are going on!

“Yeah, I know Nat,” he sighed. “Yeah. I know it’s been a year. It doesn’t mean I’m excited to see him. I don’t even know if we’re on speaking terms.” 

Nat looked at the figure behind him.

“What are you staring at?” Clint wondered aloud. 

Bucky stared back. “Yeah Nat, what are you staring at?” 

“Oh shit, what th-.”

“Hello Bucky.” Natasha smirked. “How was the mission?”

“Oh. Well, everything went better than expected. Sam got a clipped wing, a few bruises here and there, but otherwise we’re good.”

“Awesome. I got to file some paperwork and stuff. I’ll leave you alone. Later boys.”

Clint and Bucky waved quick goodbyes to Nat.

“Bucky.” Clint signed, not wanting to talk.

“Hey Clint….” There was a moment of unstable silence. “How have you been?”

“You’re really asking?”

Bucky nodded.

“Better than you from the looks of it.”

Bucky laughed. “Yeah well that’s what you get when you’re trapped with your boy-”

“Too soon Bucky, way too soon.” Clint said as he took a step toward the door. Bucky stuck out his arm, blocking Clint from exiting.

“Clint, it’s been a year.” 

“Yes I know.”

“When will you get over it man? Yes we dated. We aren’t together anymore. We-.”

“I just didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“So what? I just don’t come back to the tower?”

“I’m not saying t-”

“You want me stay away from you? File a restraining order. I deserve to be here just as much as you.”

“I’m not saying you don’t. I just-”

“You ‘just’ what Clint?”

“Nothing.” He sighed. “It’s not important, I’m not important.” Another sigh, “Later, Bucky.”

“No, you don’t get to leave.”

“Yes I do. Wanna know why?” There was no response. He walked up to Bucky and whispered into his ear, “Because, you left first.”

Clint left, and Bucky stayed. Their cycle continued.


	2. Chapter 2

You left first.

Those three words played on repeat in his mind. He wanted to fight that. Their breakup was a mutual thing, or at least that’s what he thought.

There was a knock at the door. 

“Hey Buck.” 

“Sam.” He smiled, “Doll, how are ya’ feeling?”

“Could be worse, but knowing Strange has proved useful.” 

Bucky eyed Sam’s wrist cast. “It seems it has.”

“So uh.” He started. “Tony told me what happened earlier.”

“I love the guy, but I blame him alone for all the bs that happens around the tower.”

“Barnes.”

“It was a year ago it’s not my damn fault he can’t get over it.” “You two should at least talk about it. You know, to get it over with.”

“Is that really the best idea Sam?”

“I’m gonna say yes, but you,” he pointed, “you can do whatever.”

Bucky sighed. He knew Sam was right. If he was being honest Sam was always right.

“Fine, I’ll talk to him.”

“But before you do that come over here, I wanna kiss you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Clint’s been in training since their argument. That is the only thing he does. He’s done hiding and he’s just done with everything. At least he pretends to be.

However, at this particular point in time his phone had been ringing for an hour. So he turned it off...by shooting it with an arrow. 

He was gifted an hour of silence until Friday had to give him a message.

“Mr Barton, sir,” Friday began.

“Friday, I thought I said do not disturb.”

“I’m sorry sir, but you have a message, they say it’s urgent.” 

“It’s fine Friday…” he sighs. “But Who is they, and what’s the message?”

“Playing now, sir.”

“Hey Friday could you tell Clint to pick up his damn phone. I just wanna talk.” Bucky sighs, “Please Clint, it’s important.”

Clint had a plan B, in case something like this were to happen. His plan A, if you were wondering, was to pretend like he was done with it all. But his plan B was to leave the facility and return to his apartment where Kate and Lucky were. At least they were good company.

“Friday, where is Hogan right now?”

“He just got done in a meeting with Mr. Stark.”

If Clint played his cards right he could swing a ride from Happy, back to his apartment. He thought about it for a moment. 

I could always call Nat? Kate maybe? It took him a moment then, “ Ahh phone no.”

“Back in my day-“

“Don’t start with me Barnes”

“Not Barnes,” Steve said.

“Oh. Sorry Cap, I’ll um, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“No, stay.” He coughed, awkwardly. ”Hey, I know there’s been some….stuff….going on between you and Bucky.”

“Ya’ think.” 

Steve laughs, “I don’t know if I’m the right person to talk to, but if you ever want to, talk I’ll be there.”

“Thanks Cap,” Clint smiles. “But I don’t need a free therapy session, at least not today.”

“Do you at least wanna train with me for an hour?”

“One more couldn’t hurt I guess.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Sammmmmmm,” Bucky moaned.

Sam looked up from the mission report he was finishing, “Yes?”

“Do I have to talk to him?????”

“Bucky, babe,” he said. “I told you that you could do whatever. Guess someone didn’t listen.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. He really didn’t want to talk to Clint or about him, but Sam said that this would be the one way he could settle what happened in the past. It had been a year and Bucky still didn’t know what he did wrong. Or if he did anything wrong.

“Why don’t you call him? Or go look for him? You can track people right?”

Bucky’s head snaps to Sam and his eyes go dark. Annoyed, he leaves the room to conjure a way to talk to Clint. 

Now Sam loves his boyfriend, but everyone and he means everyone, knows about Clint and Buck’s past...differences.

Their arguments were, how does one put it gently... bad. But when they were feeling it, their relationship, they bloomed, blossomed really. 

Sam used to watch them from afar. Not in a weird creepy way, but as that relationship formed. And well, Sam had been crushing on Bucky for “oh, not too long” and he had been meaning to talk to him about it. But he soon noticed the way Bucky looked at Clint. Not long after Sam noticed that look, Clint asked Bucky out, he made a whole show of it. It was like a teenage boy asking his girlfriend to prom, cute and until it wasn’t. 

He and Buck never really talked about it. They, even before their relationship, were very close and quite literally talked about everything (sometimes just talking to Steve was too much). Sam found it strange and was definitely hurt by it, but he didn't let it get in the way of their friendship, as cheesy as it sounds. Bucky was finally his own person and he wasn't gonna get in the way of that. So he didn't. That lead him to here and now, with him forcing Bucky to make his own decisions.


End file.
